just a mirage

i thought today was such a chill day, had a buncha laughs until it all went downhill.
My bestest girl-friend left for Philippines, and it hurts cause no one girlwise was there for me like she was. I said girlwise, so elizer if you're reading this, don't worry, I know you're here for me.
Anyways, when i went home, the first thing I noticed was shattered glass and my sister with an ice pack on her knee. Turns out she dislocated her knee, again.It just sucks how we Francia's have such weak ass knees. It's just not fair how things like this always happen, how we can't do the things we could do before these accidents happened. Im scared of playing basketball, something like dislocating your knee can never be forgotten, and I injured my ligament like a week ago, so im fucking scared. I love sports, but it's like I wasn't meant to play them and seeing my sister like that made me reminisce on what happened. Then I crashed. I just fucked everything up between me and my other bestest girl-friend, I just got so fucking pissed that she was talking to the one girl I [dis]like the most. She has the guts to ditch me for her, even though she knows EVERYTHING she did TO me and EVERYTHING i did FOR her. I mean, im not one to say that my best friend can't talk to her, im just saying that if you do that, then just don't call.
That's my view, but obviously i over-exaggerated, but that's what i felt. I always tend to fuck everything up, everything I hold dear always seem to leave me. It's just like when my uncle left last week, he was just so nice and always asked if I needed anything from him except for money, cause he left to find a job in alberta, but yeah. I tend to break friend relationships, all because im so fucking stupid.I tend to push people away, when all I want to do is bring them closer, but when I finally realize this, it's too late. Ok, the end. Sorry it didn't rhyme,I don't think I could rhyme this. Im super sensitive, it fucking sucks HAHA. OH YEAH, if you didn't know,I always cover up something sad with a(n) Aha or HAHA. Anyways, I forgot to add this but you don't have to apologize dia, it's me. Just cause I have a resentment towards one person doesn't mean i have to resent you.


Don't blame it on dia. I didnt know she was talking to you, and if i did, then i wouldnt have talked to her. Please dont ignore dia, she doesnt deserve it. She's a nice girl, so treat her like one.

Im kind of mad at you for telling her that I was on the phone with you. Her name=TABOO, but for once, I agree with _________. Im glad to have you in my life, and saying goodbye to you is something I never want to do(in the friend kind of way HAHA).


Oh, it's titled just a mirage cause I always have points in my life that are so happy that it's unbelievable, then suddenly it comes crashing down, kind of like a mirage/fantasy, just like today!